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It’s my birthday

Today it’s my 43rd birthday I’ve been up since 0400 Tossing and turning with my brain on fire. So many thoughts in my head. Not necessarily bad but yet i am on overload. It still doesn’t feel like we just trekked across multiple states to start another chapter in our lives. It still doesn’t feel real that in this home will no longer be both my children that i will be sharing this journey with. My daughter and best friend will be off creating her own story in college. Many have said that it will be ok. ”You have raised her right “ or that “ you are a great mom”...although i appreciate the positivity, it still doesn’t negate the fact that it seems as though neither of us are ready. Some days i Yelp myself that i can do it, or that she will in fact be ok. Other days she sheds tears of fear and it breaks my heart. So today i will try and celebrate what i still have left. I will celebrate those people, to include my kids, have supported my random dance moves, crazy belting out singing in the car or at home, my emotional days and crazy ideas.

Today i am 43 and can’t figure out how that even happened. I am not rich and still unemployed, living off my retirement and disability. I am a grown woman who obsessively lives on a budget so that she can provide for the kids and yet splurge a little when i want.

Today i will try and focus on the positive and not the materialistic things of what i want for my birthday ..because as an adult who just moved, new shower curtains, an area rug and groceries are probably going to be my presents 😂.

Cheers to turning 43!

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